What about you?

Are you having trouble breastfeeding? Did you manage to breastfeed successfully? Were you forced to give up? If so, what proved the final straw for you? Did you wish you could keep breastfeeding? I'd love to hear about your experiences.

Gisele says "Breastfeeding Should Be Mandatory Law" - Wow

Goodness me, Gisele Bundchen has certainly stirred up some media frenzy with her offhand comments in the Daily Mail UK:

"I think breastfeeding really helped. Some people here think they don't have to breastfeed, and I think, "Are you going to give chemical food to your child, when they are so little?

There should be a worldwide law, in my opinion, that mothers should breastfeed their babies for six months."

I'm guessing she didn't have any trouble breastfeeding her child. I'd like to think that perhaps she has been taken out of context, or misquoted or something - how can anyone really think that you make something like breastfeeding a law? What, are you going to lock up all those mums who have trouble with it? Really!

Breastfeeding Tip # 2 - At the Start of Each Feed

Make it part of your feeding routine to express a few drops of milk and rub them on your nipple before latching baby on for the first time. Do this again before putting baby on the other breast. This lubricates your nipples and reduces friction caused by the baby's sucks - it just might help to reduce some of your nipple pain.

Share your stories

I’d love to share your breastfeeding stories and experiences on my site. Had trouble breastfeeding? Learnt some tips and tricks that would help other mothers? Been forced to give up breastfeeding? Managed to breastfeed successfully? Other mothers would love to hear your stories and read about your challenges and successes. Email me on jazmackenzie@gmail.com and I’ll post some of your stories on the site for others to share.

Breastfeeding Tip # 1 – The “Special K Position”

When babies breastfeed, their mouths should form the shape of a back-to-front K. Their lips should be spread outwards, forming the arms of the K. Many babies like to tuck their bottom lip in, or even both bottom and top lips (in the shape of a C around your nipple). While the baby might still be able to get milk from your breast, this will cause you pain in the breastfeeding process.

If you latch the baby onto your breast and the lips are not in the correct position, stop, take him off, and start again. Sometimes you will be able to pull out the lower lip without removing him completely, but it’s best not to do this until you are more experienced with breastfeeding. Keep trying even if you need to reattach the baby six (or more) times before he gets it right. Your nipples will thank you!

Keep an eye out on your baby’s position during the feed. They often move their lips as they suck, and you may need to stop and fix their position yet again. As baby gets more used to the Special K position, they will start to do it automatically as time goes on, and you’ll be able to pay less and less attention to the position of their mouths.

It’s worth taking the time and effort to get this important position correct when you start to breastfeed. If you can, even before you go to deliver your baby, try watching a friend or relative who is breastfeeding. Ask if you can check out how the baby sucks (referred to as “latching on”). If there is nobody available, check out the books or articles on breastfeeding for a picture of the correct position. It really helps to have the picture in your mind when you are flustered and trying to feed as a brand new mother.

My Personal Philosophy on Breastfeeding

Even before I tell you about myself and my breastfeeding experiences, which I’ll do in a later blog, I want to clearly state my personal philosophy on breastfeeding. I want to make sure that people know exactly where I am coming from. If you disagree with my opinions in this blog, that’s fine – they’re only opinions. But please make sure that you first understand exactly what I am and am not advocating.

I personally believe that breastfeeding is extremely beneficial for babies, and should be the preferred method of feeding your baby WHERE POSSIBLE. And this is where I differ from many other people. There are circumstances where it is simply not possible to breastfeed your baby, whether because of difficulties with the actual breastfeeding process itself, problems you may be having with your baby, or through circumstances in your life at the time.

I am a mother, and I believe that nothing is more important than the relationship you have with your own child. I know everyone has their passionate opinions in the Great Breastfeeding Debate, and that’s fine. I have my own passionate opinions. But I believe that all mothers should be respected REGARDLESS of how they feed their baby. Whether you solely breastfeed, whether you combine breastmilk and formula, or whether you fully formula-feed, is not something that you should be judged by or on. I believe that nobody should be made to feel guilty about feeding their baby formula in circumstances where breastfeeding is just not possible. A beautiful baby has been brought into this world, and that should be treasured regardless of the way that baby is being fed.

So I am NOT, repeat NOT, making judgments or trying to tell you that you should breastfeed or else be a failure as a mother. I do NOT think you are a failure if you are unable to breastfeed. I am NOT going to push the “breast is best” position in circumstances where breastfeeding may actually not be best for you or your child. And if circumstances force you not to breastfeed your baby (maybe you have to take medications, for example), I am NOT going to suggest that you are being selfish and harming your baby at the expense of her health.

I am NOT, however, advocating formula-feeding if you haven’t given breastfeeding a real go. That’s a really important point! I do NOT support mothers who decide to feed their babies formula right from the start, simply because they think it is convenient (though going back to work is a tricky situation, which I’ll deal with in a later blog), or trendy, or cool.

My personal philosophy is this:

All mothers should attempt to breastfeed their child. Get advice on what you are doing, find someone to show you the proper techniques, do all you can to give your baby the benefit of breast milk. If you find breastfeeding works for you, that’s wonderful. It will lead to some immensely worthwhile and rewarding experiences as a mother. But if you find you can’t breastfeed, if something goes wrong, if things aren’t working for you and/or your child, you are not a failure. You shouldn’t feel guilty. You shouldn’t let other people MAKE you feel guilty. What is important is the love you give your child. What is important is that your child has enough nourishment, whether from breastmilk or formula or a mixture of both. What is important is that you treasure your new baby and do all you can to make the experience a joy for you both. You also will have immensely worthwhile and rewarding experiences as a mother. Whether you breastfeed or bottle-feed, you are worthy of support as a mother, a parent, a woman.

Battling to Breastfeed

Giving birth to a child is one of the most special and rewarding experiences a woman can have during her life. For some parents, however, the joy of the first few weeks and months can be badly affected by difficulties the mother experiences in breastfeeding her baby.

Problems with breastfeeding can leave brand new mothers feeling as though the world is crashing down on them. The horror of the first week can turn into weeks and weeks of struggles, which in turn can lead to feelings of isolation, abandonment, and dislike of the whole new-baby experience. How are you supposed to bond with your child when you cringe every time she comes near your cracked and bleeding nipples? How is this supposed to be the best time in your life when your baby is screaming in hunger because he can’t latch properly onto your breast?

Unfortunately, so much effort is being put into encouraging women to breastfeed that the troubles and challenges are often glossed over. Many mothers go into breastfeeding with a rosy view of how breastfeeding will work, and are horrified by the realities of cracked nipples, mastitis, engorged breasts, screaming babies, and trouble latching on. Many people are so intent on pushing the “breast is best” theme that they forget that breastfeeding is supposed to be a positive experience for both baby AND mother. When the experience becomes so negative it is affecting a mother’s health (both physically and emotionally), how is that benefitting the baby?

Before giving birth to my first child, I thought breastfeeding would come easily to me. How hard could it be, I thought. Women have been breastfeeding for thousands of years – it’s the natural way humans feed their young. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I’ll share my own breastfeeding troubles with you in a later post, and will just say now that I had an absolutely terrible time breastfeeding both my first and my second child. I managed to continue, despite the many obstacles I experienced, and I was so happy I could experience the joys of breastfeeding for myself. But I nearly didn’t succeed. And my problems opened my eyes to the breastfeeding experiences of other mothers, so many of which are negative!

The trouble is, with the push for mothers to breastfeed these days, it has become almost taboo for women to admit just how much trouble they are having with breastfeeding. There are some interesting statistics about the number of women who give up breastfeeding in the first few weeks after leaving hospital, and I’ll post these at a later date. Once a woman leaves hospital – often before breastfeeding is fully established – they are left almost fully on their own to deal (or not) with the challenges of breastfeeding. There are breastfeeding associations in most countries (such as La Leche League), and these can provide valuable support to women who are having difficulties with breastfeeding and need some advice. There are also private lactation consultants who you can pay for advice and assistance when you are having difficulties. But once the phone call is over or the consultant has gone home again, the mother is once more back on her own. If she tries the advice given to her and it fails, it then becomes harder for her to call back or request a repeat visit a second, a third, a seventh time! The mother often feels as though SHE is causing the problem with breastfeeding, and she can’t help but think that the counselor or consultant is judging her skills as a mother and finding her wanting. Even if this is not the case. I know. I’ve been there!

To make matters worse, many mothers are made to feel guilty that they would even consider giving up breastfeeding. There is little support for those who feel like a failure because they just couldn’t make such a “natural” function work properly. And there is no-one for a mother to talk to once she has made the decision to give up breastfeeding. Rightly or wrongly, mothers believe that their local breastfeeding association is only there to help women who ARE breastfeeding. If a mother is no longer breastfeeding, she just slips through the cracks.

That’s where this site comes in.

I want to provide a support network for mothers who are struggling with breastfeeding, who need some reassurance, who need the chance to share the journeys of other mothers, who are looking for more information before they decide whether or not to give up breastfeeding. I want to provide a site where women who have managed to overcome their obstacles to breastfeeding can share their successes in the hope that this might encourage others. And I want to give women who have been forced to give up breastfeeding a voice. A place where they can look for help, for sympathy, and for support in their journey to forgive themselves for placing their baby on formula. Because giving your baby some formula is the easy part. Dealing with the guilt of doing so is much, much harder!

I look forward to sharing your journey with you as you experience the joys and the challenges of parenting. Whether you are breastfeeding or not!!!