Giving birth to a child is one of the most special and rewarding experiences a woman can have during her life. For some parents, however, the joy of the first few weeks and months can be badly affected by difficulties the mother experiences in breastfeeding her baby.
Problems with breastfeeding can leave brand new mothers feeling as though the world is crashing down on them. The horror of the first week can turn into weeks and weeks of struggles, which in turn can lead to feelings of isolation, abandonment, and dislike of the whole new-baby experience. How are you supposed to bond with your child when you cringe every time she comes near your cracked and bleeding nipples? How is this supposed to be the best time in your life when your baby is screaming in hunger because he can’t latch properly onto your breast?
Unfortunately, so much effort is being put into encouraging women to breastfeed that the troubles and challenges are often glossed over. Many mothers go into breastfeeding with a rosy view of how breastfeeding will work, and are horrified by the realities of cracked nipples, mastitis, engorged breasts, screaming babies, and trouble latching on. Many people are so intent on pushing the “breast is best” theme that they forget that breastfeeding is supposed to be a positive experience for both baby AND mother. When the experience becomes so negative it is affecting a mother’s health (both physically and emotionally), how is that benefitting the baby?
Before giving birth to my first child, I thought breastfeeding would come easily to me. How hard could it be, I thought. Women have been breastfeeding for thousands of years – it’s the natural way humans feed their young. I couldn’t have been more wrong. I’ll share my own breastfeeding troubles with you in a later post, and will just say now that I had an absolutely terrible time breastfeeding both my first and my second child. I managed to continue, despite the many obstacles I experienced, and I was so happy I could experience the joys of breastfeeding for myself. But I nearly didn’t succeed. And my problems opened my eyes to the breastfeeding experiences of other mothers, so many of which are negative!
The trouble is, with the push for mothers to breastfeed these days, it has become almost taboo for women to admit just how much trouble they are having with breastfeeding. There are some interesting statistics about the number of women who give up breastfeeding in the first few weeks after leaving hospital, and I’ll post these at a later date. Once a woman leaves hospital – often before breastfeeding is fully established – they are left almost fully on their own to deal (or not) with the challenges of breastfeeding. There are breastfeeding associations in most countries (such as La Leche League), and these can provide valuable support to women who are having difficulties with breastfeeding and need some advice. There are also private lactation consultants who you can pay for advice and assistance when you are having difficulties. But once the phone call is over or the consultant has gone home again, the mother is once more back on her own. If she tries the advice given to her and it fails, it then becomes harder for her to call back or request a repeat visit a second, a third, a seventh time! The mother often feels as though SHE is causing the problem with breastfeeding, and she can’t help but think that the counselor or consultant is judging her skills as a mother and finding her wanting. Even if this is not the case. I know. I’ve been there!
To make matters worse, many mothers are made to feel guilty that they would even consider giving up breastfeeding. There is little support for those who feel like a failure because they just couldn’t make such a “natural” function work properly. And there is no-one for a mother to talk to once she has made the decision to give up breastfeeding. Rightly or wrongly, mothers believe that their local breastfeeding association is only there to help women who ARE breastfeeding. If a mother is no longer breastfeeding, she just slips through the cracks.
That’s where this site comes in.
I want to provide a support network for mothers who are struggling with breastfeeding, who need some reassurance, who need the chance to share the journeys of other mothers, who are looking for more information before they decide whether or not to give up breastfeeding. I want to provide a site where women who have managed to overcome their obstacles to breastfeeding can share their successes in the hope that this might encourage others. And I want to give women who have been forced to give up breastfeeding a voice. A place where they can look for help, for sympathy, and for support in their journey to forgive themselves for placing their baby on formula. Because giving your baby some formula is the easy part. Dealing with the guilt of doing so is much, much harder!
I look forward to sharing your journey with you as you experience the joys and the challenges of parenting. Whether you are breastfeeding or not!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment